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Not the greatest West Ham XI

Got to wondering who would make up my 'really not very good' West Ham XI. Feel free to add your own suggestions, either as individual positions, or a whole team.

They don't necessarily have to be the worst players you ever saw.

Not sure there's too much debate about the first two:

Manager - The Scottish Manager

GK - Allen McKnight

RB - Lionel Scaloni - not the worst player ever, but I can't help but blame him for our FA Cup loss.

CB - Matthew Upson - worst captain I can remember. Bert Trautman played on with a broken neck; Upson wouldn't play on with a hangnail.

CB - Tomas Repka - I know he has achieved folkloric status among many Hammers, but he was out of control. Low point- picking up a yellow card at the end of a game against Fulham, and arguing about it until he got a 2nd yellow / red card, which pushed him over the 10 game limit and got him 2 games plus the ban for the red.

LB - Razvan Rat - great name, not much cop as a defender

CMF- Javier Mascherano - kept out of the team by Hayden Mullins, on merit. Struggling to remember a player who tried less for us.

CMF - Alex Song - for most games, seemed to be playing in a separate time zone to his colleagues.

RW - Le TGV - Julien Faubert. An object lesson in why looking at You Tube videos doesn't tell the whole story. Props to Real Madrid for showing it wasn't just us...

LW - Alessandro Diamanti - failed to sparkle

Forwards - man, but we are spoiled for choice here.

Benni McCarthy has to be one of my picks. If you listen carefully, you can still hear the laughter ringing in the Blackburn boardroom.

Modibo Maiga - just, baffling.


  • MUST.NOT.BITE ;biggrin
  • I like this thread!
    Re Grey's initial 11 I would have chosen Gary Strodder at centre back,Tommy McQueen at left back & David Kelly up front.Strodder in place of Upson,simply because I can remember Upson at least having some decent games for us.
  • Savio in for Diamanti. What a waste of money Savio was.
  • Repka?! One of my favs ;puzzled ;whome
  • I never liked him... odd init.
  • Twist

    Knew it would be 'controversial' - clearly a Marmite player.
  • Some names id like to throw in:

    Roger Johnson
    Boa Morte
  • Off the top of my head, mine would be:

    GK Allen McKnightmare
    RB Matt Taylor (what was Sam thinking?)
    LB Vladimir Labant
    CB Roger Johnson
    CB Matthew Upson
    RM Joey Beauchamp
    CM Radoslav Kovac
    CM Nigel Quashie
    LM Luis Boa Morte
    ST Benni McCarthy
    ST Savio

    But sadly there are plenty of options ;lol
  • Marco Boogers would make the bench.

    And then get sent off for clattering Gary Neville immediately after coming on.
  • Wellington Paulista could keep him company
  • Mike 'Offside' Small
  • Oh my!! I had forgotten about Vladimir Labant... ;puzzled
  • Madrid ;angry
    I loved Gary Strodder
    He was back up to some Great WHUFC CB's and came to us cheap.
    He IMO always did well.... ;ok
    Paul Hilton tho, he could have made it ;ok
  • A couple of players, I dont think have been mentioned yet, to add to those illustrious names...


    Tore (yes, I am judging him already and not giving him any time to settle)

    Za... Actually i'll hold off on that one
  • edited October 2016
    Ian Dowie anyone, an own goal never topped since, a bullet header into his own net.

    Our situation this season is possibly caused by Slav buying three potential entries in one window in Tore, Zsa and Nordvelt.

    Savio must go down in agents folklore, they still meet late in the bar and speak of the agent who pulled that one off.
  • The Scottish Manager

    Keith Coleman
    Paul Hilton
    Roger Johnson
    Up son
    Johnny Ayris?..
    Joey Beauchamp
  • Kovac and Dowie would be shoe ins for my worst eleven,

    I vividly recall playing Arsenal and they were giving it large on, we,ve got Dennis Bergcamp etc etc, and you,ve got Ian Dowie etc etc.

    It did not help that Dowie was partnered by a spectacularly inept Mike Newell, (he was a loanee so probably not qualified for this competition).

    It says something that I think practically all of us picked the top four all time legends on another thread yet we will never be able to agree on our worst eleven as there are so many talentless contenders

    ;weep ;weep ;weep
  • Grey,I do agree with you saying Thomas Repka achieved folklore status, as did
    Julian Dicks, in my opinion. Gave 110% every match, which you can't say that about
    any of the current team unfortunately.
  • hammerex - he was so frustrating to me as a player, I recall a game against Preston, I was just defending him to my mates who were lambasting him about how wrong they were as I thought he was a good player and I am just waiting for him to prove me right.

    Then, right on cue, he chopped a bloke nearly in half with just 25mins gone, totally correct straight red, I was stunned into silence, my mates were just looking at me with a look that you can just imagine, yet everyone in the Rio Ferdinand stand practically gave him a standing ovation.

    We went on to lose of course
  • Radiciou was pretty naff
  • Nigel Quashie is a recent player that sticks in the mind...

    Big Mac Benny for not seeming to realise her was a professional footballer maybe takes the cake (literally).

    we had so many naff players it's hard to pick.
  • Johnny Ayris was pretty good, although I agree he wasnt much good after Chopper Harris ended his career in one tackle
  • Kovac has to be in the XI.

    Never have I seen a player struggle to pass the ball 5 yards backwards.
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